When you live with a chronic debilitating disease, you often find yourself at a crossroads.
The desire to do so much - the desertion of your body to carry that through.
It can be frustrating, even downright infuriating. It's a great lesson in acceptance - one that I struggle with, at times.
My house isn't as neat and tidy as I'd prefer. I'm not playing in the dirt, as Your Garden Nanny, would say. Nor am I currently swimming, walking or dancing through life with grace; more like moving mechanically and jerkily like a poor prototype of a robot.
Who knows why the body turns on itself? An over-protective immune system with a wonky on/off switch that wreaks havoc with joints, muscles, ligaments, organs and life.
This fall has been a trial. I've thrown everything I've had at this bugger of a disease, to seemingly, very little avail.
Sometimes you're on the crest of the wave, other times in the trough. So goes life.
At the very least, I'm able to stay afloat while in the trough. A part of me knows that this will pass, the inflammation will settle down and I can get back to a more regular lifestyle. In the meantime, I know to take extra care - to treat myself well.
Things happen over which we have no control. However, we do have control over how we react to those things that come our way. At times, it is very easy (perhaps too easy?), to just let go and sink below the surface. With stress techniques, I'm able to use them and take a breath, then another one and another.