Book Review & Giveaway: Self-Talk for a Calmer You

Beverly D. Flaxington is known as the human behaviour coach. She is a Psychology Today blogger, Certified Hypnotherapist, personal and career coach, entrepreneur, college professor, business development expert and three-time bestselling author. You can find out more about Beverly's work by visiting The Collaborative which is a sales and marketing consultancy that provides strategic and tactical support to help clients, firms and individuals reach higher levels of effectiveness and meet their goals.

In her note to me, Beverly wrote:

"It is my fondest wish that all of the world gets access to these ideas."

Thanks to her, I am holding a giveaway for two copies of Self-Talk for a Calmer You. Scroll down to see how to enter the giveaway.

I agree with Beverly. The more skills people have at their disposal, the better able they are to act in a way that brings them closer to what they do want.

Self-Talk for a Calmer You was written for those who are seeking a more relaxed and comfortable life. Readers are provided with tools that will help them recognize triggers that cause anxiety. You can follow Beverly's plan to work on overcoming situations that cause nervousness, or fear, then replace these feelings with confidence, contentment and joy. Learn how to take control of the inner voices that drag you down and instead, make them work in a positive way.

The book has nine chapters, which include: Anxiety and the Importance of Self-Talk, Self-Talk and You, Finding Your Triggers, Building Your Self-Talk Toolbox, Anxiety in Personal Relationships, Anxiety in the Workplace, Dealing with Life Changes, Creating Life Changes, Managing Stressful Situations and The Art of Self-Reflection - Challenging Your Self-Talk. Additionally, you'll find several case studies, which may help you draw parallels with your own life.

This is a soft-cover book that easily tucks into your purse or briefcase, making it perfect for practice when you're on the go.

Favourite Sections

On page 28, there's a section entitled, "The Enemy: Negative Self-Talk". Beverly explains the way in which negative self-talk steals opportunities from you and how it distances you from not only yourself, but those with whom you interact.

"Think of negative self-talk as something that helps anxiety fuel the emotional flames, while positive self-talk is a bucket of water you can throw on it to douse the fire. The key lies in identifying your habits in relationship to your self-talk, recognizing what your self-talk says to you and why, and understanding its impact." (Page 30)

As I read this book, I was reminded of instances in my life where my self-talk created a stampede of stress that pounded long into the night. When you use tools, techniques, tricks and strategies, you learn to corral those wild thoughts and tame them to experience a calmer, more pleasurable ride through life.

On page 159, Beverly addresses something I often discuss with my clients:

"The issue of self-talk related to stress is a bit like the chicken and the egg. Which comes first? Does your negative self-talk raise your anxiety and resulting stress levels, or does the existence of stress in your life lead to negative self-talk and self-flagellation? While it can be interesting to ponder, it's not important to solve this problem - we know they both feed on one another."

How this book would benefit you

Self-Talk for a Calmer You will get you thinking about how you speak to yourself. It will provide you with a framework to improve your conversations, not only with yourself, but others, as well.

Beverly will walk you step-by-step to help you make clarifying changes in your personal and work relationships.

How to enter the giveaway:

  1. To enter via Rafflecopter, you’ll need to log-in with either your email or Facebook account. If you’re unfamiliar with Rafflecopter, click here for the directions on how to enter.
  2. It is mandatory to leave a comment here on this post in order to be eligible for the draw. Reposting to Twitter and Google+ is optional.
  3. If you have a mailing address in Canada or the US, you are eligible to enter this giveaway.
  4. For an additional chance to enter, please subscribe to my newsletter here. Then, send me this email with the following subject line: Enter me in the giveaway for Self-Talk for a Calmer You.
  5. Good luck!

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3 Replies to “Book Review & Giveaway: Self-Talk for a Calmer You”

  1. Hi Marianna,

    Thank you for reading and giving us a preview of so many helpful books! Beverly D. Flaxington’s book sounds like a wonderful resource!

    There are a variety of different ways to address anxiety and the optimal way may vary for each person and the particular type of anxiety that they experience (I’m using they so as to be inclusive).

    One of Dr Kristin’s Neff’s approaches with regard to the self critic/negative talk is to befriend your inner voice and understand that it has been critiquing you with the intent of motivating you and taking care of you (with the mistaken assumption that being hard on you is the most effective way of helping you succeed).

    And once you understand and show compassion for your inner voice, you can slowly start changing the tone and content of what your inner voice shares with you > more encouragement and support > less anxiety.


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