If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the guy who once said:
- I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen...and replaced by exact duplicates.
His mind sees things differently - to our amazement and amusement.
- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
- Half the people you know are below average.
- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.