Want: What Women

Do I or don't I? I know that by typing a certain four-lettered word, I'll attract a certain type of reader faster than a texting teen!

I'll work around it and not even make mention of the word. A friend sent a funny email with "*Ahem* for Women" in the subject line.

What makes this so humorous? In part, it has to do with how simple it can be to make a woman happy. Kind gestures and actions generate positive feelings. They are felt in the heart. From there, signals are sent to the brain. The brain interprets those signals and when they are deemed positive and not a threat to safety, the stress response - flight or fight - is not activated! And who knows what that can lead to!


A number of my female clients struggle with doing it all. Not only do they work outside of the home, but in many cases, they are responsible for ensuring that the household runs as smoothly as the famed Dutch railroad system. Often, the care and feeding of children and spouse and all the planning and work that is involved falls onto their overloaded shoulders. Aging parents may also require a slot on a calendar that seems to always be short a week or two.

At day's end, they collapse into bed, exhausted, only to be frustrated by their poor quality of sleep. When they finally do fall asleep, the cacophony of the alarm clock signals that it is time to start all over again. This is not a recipe for romance.

Emotions matter

Emotions infuse our lives with querulousness or quality, pain or pleasure, turbulence or tranquility. In the ocean of life, sometimes you are on the crest of a wave, other times in the trough. It's through the practiced activation of positive thoughts and emotions that you learn to keep afloat.

Fans of Star Trek - The Next Generation may remember Data's curiosity about and desire for emotions. In this clip, Data gets a taste of the joys of a positive feeling, courtesy of Q:

You gotta have heart!

I can't discuss emotions without this scene from The Wizard of Oz. The Tin Man shares his longing for a heart and with good reason. It's the place where we feel and the place where we begin our stress transformation process.

What do women want?

All you need to do is ask, then act from your heart!

4 Replies to “Want: What Women”

  1. I am not a woman, so I would not know. On the other hand, I was married to one woman for forty plus years and to the best of my knowledge, she did not have a complaint about her man. All that you say was instinctively part of me for the last thing I wanted to happen to my marriage was what happened to my mother’s. As simple as that. I am not suggesting that all parents, who want successful marriages for their children should do what my father did, but, that is what happened to mine.

  2. Hi Marianna,

    This is great advice that you are offering the men in our lives…sometimes, they mistakenly feel that they need to solve the problems in our lives when in fact, what we need is just for them to listen to what we are saying and feeling.

    Thanks for another wonderful post,

  3. Ramana,
    You had heart-led instincts!

    A hard lesson for many.

    Don’t you find that when you voice the issue, you often resolve it? It’s almost as if hearing it outside of yourself sets it free.

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