I know better. Or, to put a more resourceful spin on it...I am learning to hear, listen, trust and act upon that little voice, otherwise known as the voice of intuition.
Little Holly was left tied to a fence in a warehouse district during the cold spell we had in December. The wonderful people at the animal shelter picked her up, assessed her, then placed her up for adoption. As a result, we are now fortunate to have her grace our lives.
We brought her home and began building a relationship of trust. Then, it was time to bring her back to the shelter to have her spayed. This had been arranged by the animal shelter with one of their vets.
The evening before her spaying, as we approached the shelter, a little voice - a quiet one - was nagging me and making me think that this was not the way in which to handle this situation. What if, by returning her to the shelter, the smells, sights and sounds would only serve to confuse and re-traumatize her? Why not ask about having her spayed at the vet we've seen for 10 years - the one we know?
I didn't listen.
Needless to say, Holly has changed since her surgery. Her previous trust in me has been replaced by an obsessive attachment to a little ball. She sleeps with it. It's the first thing she goes for in the morning. She even wants to go for a walk with it.
Perhaps she feels that I let her down because she thought I was abandoning her when I brought her back to the shelter? Then, she was cut open, altered and put into pain and given a pain killer that affects one's thought processes. I've been on the same one so I know.
Just recently, I've been able to sit with her, stroke her and have the ball nearby, where she can see it. I'm sure that with time and love she will heal. Great news! As I typed the first draft of this post, she wandered in to see me without her ball!
Six days post-surgery, she has started spotting. In consultation with our regular vet, this is abnormal. Thus far, we've had two visits to the vet and lab tests will, hopefully, rule out Von Willebrand disease.
Animals have so much to teach us and this lesson is about listening when that quiet voice whispers - don't ignore it, for it is the voice of wisdom.
One of the reasons, this voice of intuition is being heard is because of the regular work I do at transforming my stress. As the chatter of stress is reduced, the power of the heart works its wonders, providing us with information that enriches and improves our lives.
The voice of intuition is speaking - my job is to trust and have faith that it is steering me in the right direction. That will come.
Today, she was able to sit with me for an hour, without feeling compelled to go fetch her "security ball".
Perhaps in the grander scheme of things, she needed the vet visits to learn that she is our little girl with "shattered glass" eyes and that she has come home!
My little voice is murmuring - it is saying that all will be well. I'm going to listen and have faith that it will be so.
For you to consider:
- Have there been times when you've heard the voice of intuition and chosen to ignore it?
- Have there been equally as many times when you've acted upon the voice of intuition?
- Are you able to decipher the difference between the voice of intuition and the voice of "I want..."?