Patience. Here. Now. Heal. Now.

Image courtesy of Dieter Joel Jagnow.
Image courtesy of Dieter Joel Jagnow.

Is patience one of those things you know you need to work on – something you actually want to improve? Or do you believe that you’re an impatient person and there’s nothing you can do about it? So there!

My poor mom. She could have been a spy; trained, as they are, to sit quietly and unobtrusively, to watch the target. So still. So patient. Especially with me, as we sat side-by-side at the sewing machine.

I think I was around ten or eleven years old when the sewing lessons began. I’d get frustrated for any number of reasons; I knew, even then, that I had a deficit when it came to patience.

Why couldn’t I be like my mom? When she showed me how to put in a zipper, or use the button-hole contraption, she was so calm – imperturbable. Me? Not so much. This made me feel badly because I thought there was nothing I could do about my lack of patience. But, I now know differently. I have seen the error of my ways.

You see, thanks to the stress techniques I use on a regular basis, I am more patient than I have ever been at any time in my life. It’s not to say that I didn’t have patience for some things. I did. I still get frustrated and have slip-ups, usually when I’m tired, and out of synch. (Or when my husband wants to show me the intricacies of some computer program. 😉 )

“When living mindfully, we are no longer preoccupied by thoughts of what may be going on everywhere else – we are simply here.” ~ The Vancouver Sun. Tune in: Being mindful of the now can lead to good health. That line illuminated a deeper part of my past. I realized that part of being impatient, and why I suffered—as did my mother—was because I wanted to be done. Now. Quickly. Tout de suite! Pronto! ¡Ahora! Off to the next thing, regardless of whether it was a good next thing, or a bad next thing. I wanted to gallop on ahead. You miss a lot that way. You miss the moment, whatever it may be.

How do stress techniques encourage mindfulness and patience?

  1. You get to practise tuning in to how you are feeling. Now, in the moment.
  2. You use the power of your heart to address and undress your stress. While you listen for and feel the regular lub-dub, lub-dub beat of your heart, you are not thinking about your stressors. Your heart reminds you of the present.
  3. When you balance your nervous system, you change your chemistry. Have you ever paused to consider that the effects of the chemicals you secrete. It’s quite marvelous. You are like your own pharmaceutical dispensing agency – think cortisol, adrenaline, oxytocin, dopamine, etc. Too much, not enough, just right. Different chemicals have different side-effects. You feel your best when you are functioning  just-right for you. When the stress response is triggered, you don’t feel right, whether it be emotionally, mentally and/or physically. A balanced nervous system means that you feel balanced; you have better control of your emotions, including the ability to assess the situations in which you find yourself. This allows you to respond in a more appropriate manner.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Place your hand over your heart, right in the middle of your chest. Close your eyes. Notice how you are breathing. Feel the beating of your heart. Repeat, often. (Don’t be fooled by its simplicity. The force is within you.)
  • Notice when you are feeling out of sorts. What do you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, feel?
  • Notice when you are feeling just-right. What do you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, feel?
  • Take a five hour (once weekly) coaching program that empowers you to make better choices. Not only do you learn how to address and undress your stress, you also gain invaluable performance enhancing strategies, which include mindfulness, and wait for it … patience!

8 Replies to “Patience. Here. Now. Heal. Now.”

  1. Marianna this is an amazing post! Growing up I had the worst temper (can’t say my Dad made it any better because I learned it from him). The past 2 years I’ve learned so so so much about being more in-tune with myself. This post is going to help so many.

  2. Hi Marianna,

    Thank you for describing one of your “undressing stress” or breathing techniques right here: “Place your hand over your heart, right in the middle of your chest. Close your eyes. Notice how you are breathing. Feel the beating of your heart. Repeat, often,” as well as the mindfulness type questions of noticing what we “see, hear, smell, touch, taste and feel” when either feeling well [or upset].

    You’ve given us all a great gift right here to practice [or to refer to when we need/want help]. I tend to rely upon the use of my daily meditations to assist as my de-stressing method. Like your method(s), it too has a positive effect on patience. The mindfulness creates a window of space or a pause between your observation of something occurring and your reaction, giving you more control and choice over how you will react [thus more patience].

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